The Caucus Race (Minnie version)
Minnie floated through the tears in the bottle. The sun was rising and Minnie could see what she had literally cried an ocean of tears. Just then, she heard someone singing. She turned and saw an unusual sight. It was a red fox wearing an olive green top hat, a green shirt, green pants, and a blue cloak. He was holding a cane in his hand. His name was Honest John Worthington Foulfellow, or Honest John for short. He was riding on a duck named Donald Duck and a yellow two tailed fox named Tails, Honest John's nephew, was pushing him through the sea. Honest John began to sing again: Honest John: Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me How I love to sail on the bounding sea And I never, never ever For the weather never ever does a thing for me Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me Tiddley-um (honks his nose twice) Da dum dee-dee And I never, nev... "Ahoy! And other nautical expressions! Land ho, by Jove!" the fox shouted. Tails saluted him and said, "Where away, Honest John?" "Honest John?" Minnie said to herself. "Three points to starboard," Honest John said. "Follow me, boys! Have you at port no time at all now, ha-ha! Oh!" "Mr. Honest John," Minnie called. The two foxes sail away, as he began to sing again: Honest John: Jo-ho-ho And a bottle of sea We love each time... "Please..." Minnie called. "Please help me!" Just then, a horse and a burrito were riding on a boat. Their names were QuickDraw McGraw and Baba Looey. "Um, pardon me, but, uh, would you mind helping me?" said Minnie, but neither QuickDraw or Baba seemed to hear her. A canoe passed by. In it were three veggies named Bob, Larry, and Junior Asparagus. Also in a boat were three lemurs named King Julien, Maurice, and Mort. "Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Help me! Please! Help me!" she called. She stood up, causing the bottle to sink temporarily. "Help me!" Minnie cried from underwater. The bottle resurfaced and she saw a group of toons on the shore. Tails, King Julien, Mort, Maurice, QuickDraw, Baba Looey, Bob, Larry, and Junior were all running around a rock. Honest John was on top of a rock and singing: Honest John: Forward, backward, inward, outward Come and join the chase! All (except Minnie): Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race Backward, forward, outward, inward Bottom to the top Never a beginning, there can never be a stop (The water starts to rise again and Honest John lifts up his campfire to prevent it from going out.) Honest John: To skipping, hopping, tripping Fancy free and gay I started it tomorrow and will finish yesterday! (The water lowers and, surprisingly, the runners are completely dry.) All (except Minnie): Round and round and round we go And dance forevermore Once we were behind But now, we find we are... (Minnie gets out of the bottle and a wave washes her to the beach.) Honest John: Forward, backward, inward, outward Come and join the chase! Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race. Backward... Honest John suddenly saw Minnie and said, as he used a cigar to breathe in and out, "I say! You'll never get dry that way!" "Get dry?" asked Minnie, as Tails bounced off her head. "Of course, little mouse!" QuickDraw shouted. "You have to run with us, mouse!" King Julien shouted. "First rule of the caucus race!" Junior added. "But, how can I-?" Minnie began, before she started to run. "Now, that's more like it!" Mort said. "You'll be dry in no time!" Tails said. "But no one can ''ever ''get dry this way!" Minnie said. "Nonsense!" Honest John said. "I'm as dry as a bone already!" "Yes, but-" Minnie began, before a wave covered the group again. Minnie saw Kaa washed up on the beach, riding in an umbrella. He turned it over and was drenched in water. "Alright, boys! Let's head now! Look lively!" The fox said. "The Indian python!" Minnie exclaimed. "Mister Snake! Mi- Mister Snake!" "Oh my goodness," Kaa yelled, as he ran off into the wood. "I'm late! I'm late!" "Oh, don't go away!" Minnie shouted. "I'll be right back!" "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Kaa said. As Minnie ran after the snake, she could still hear the fox talking. "Baba Looey, don't step on my nephew!" Honest John shouted. "Junior, there won't you stop kicking Mort! Bob, Larry..." Category:Fan Fiction Category:Alice in Wonderland Movies Category:Alice in Wonderland Movies Spoof Category:Alice in Wonderland Movie Spoofs